


Some Things Never Change

by vocalspaz88



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, Yaoi, collage life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-14
Updated: 2013-04-13
Packaged: 2017-12-05 06:11:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/719775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vocalspaz88/pseuds/vocalspaz88
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Collage. Finally, right? Dave and john, life long pen pals finally get to meet, both deciding to attend the same university on the coast of sunny California. They're adults now, they're friends for real just as they always wanted, but though some things never change, a new emotion for an old friend might be the difference between happiness and a broken heart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

In so many ways, collage was different from high school. The classes were harder, the teachers were tougher, and there was so much freedom it was almost impossible not to fly off the handle. Kids threw even more parties and could even live on campus with no adult supervision. That was just the thing, by law, they were adults, but by heart? They were still hormone crazed teenagers, because some things just stayed the same. Most were still immature, people were still mean to each other, and Dave was still worshiped. He wasn't even sure why. He knew he was awesome, but idolization was just a thing you got as a Strider. They were raised on higher pedestals than normal people. Maybe it was there looks, or the air of mystery their shades provided, but for some reason wherever they went, someone was trying to impress them somehow.

Unless of course John was around. In a way, john was exactly the way he was in middle school. He was goofy, he pranked everyone and had an uncanny tendency to baffle people with his undying optimism. The kid never stopped smiling that buck toothed smile of his, and it was practically impossible to dislike him. He and Dave had been pen pals for most of their lives. In the sixth grade, they started video chatting daily, and they went through all of their awkward stages together. They confided in each other about everything. Their lives, their troubles, and their secrets were always safe with the other. Still, they were miles apart and had never met in person.  
Until collage.  
To celebrate his graduation, John and his father went on a cruse over the summer. Dave had worried, cruises were for spoiled families full of blondes and models, or rich snobs trying to chill without getting their feet wet. He was sure if those types of people would take to kindly to a lanky, overly friendly nerd like him trying to do magic tricks on deck. On top of that, John would have no internet on the boat. Their friendship would be limited to text messages and late night phone calls. The only thing that kept Dave going was the knowledge that come fall, they would finally meet in person. The two would be attending the same collage right on the sunny coast of California.  
They day the met at the airport was the day Dave realized something. Even John Egbert could change.  
Adulthood had hit John out of nowhere, like the guy had gone through some sort of super puberty. Maybe it was from all that sun, maybe it had been the water sports he had participated in, or perhaps the kid had been pumped with steroids on that boat but whatever it was, John arrived to that airport a total stud.  
John had always been cute, but damn. When Dave first saw him, he was showing a group of sun kissed cheerleaders a card trick, impressing them with a stunt they would have rolled their eyes at from someone less attractive. He looked absolutely delighted, not by the female attention and not by his sudden muscle development, but by the sheer fact that someone was enjoying his magic tricks. The Strider laughed to himself, hooking his thumbs in his pockets and flashing a smile. "Cool it down, hot shot," Dave said smoothly. "Before you break some hearts."  
Like they never existed, John pushed past the swooning girls and broke into a run, face alight with joy. He tackled Dave to the ground in an instant, knocking their luggage all over the floor. "Dave," He cheered, squeezing the squirming Strider as he struggled to stand. "Oh my God, Dave its really you!"  
"Who else would it be?" He asked, shoving the goofball off of him.  
"Im just so glad to finally meet you in person! No computer or phone to separate us!"  
Dave rolled his eyes, giving an affectionate smile. "Glad enough to knock aside all that game?"  
Puzzled, John stood, helping Dave up as well. "Game?"

"All those girls!" Dave said. "They were totally drooling, man!"  
He blushed, laughing at the thought. "No, not over me, I was doing a magic trick."  
Dave gave John a heart slap on the back, leading him towards the exit with a shit eating grin."You thick, asexual bastard."


	2. Chapter 2

Just like that, it was like they had been together forever. No outsider could have guessed that they had just met, they laughed and joked with such heart and enthusiasm, even Dave was grinning like a fool as they toured the Golden State together. "For a guy from Texas, you sure are pale!" John had teased, poking the freckles on Dave's face. "Maybe all these dots will fuse together and make you appear tan!"  
  
"Kiss my ass," Dave countered cleverly.  
  
By the end of the night, Dave was feeling happier than he had in all his life. There was a pep in his step and a warm contentment in his core that was completely foreign to the ever stoic Strider. This happy energy persisted even as they got settled on campus, playful wrestling each other to the ground as they readied themselves for bed. "Get off me Dave!" John howled, wiggling and cackling as he was pinched and poked in his sides. "Im ticklish and sweaty!"  
  
Dave looked down at john, something about the way his front teeth were larger than the others making the blonde smile. Rolling off, he let John up, smirking to himself as they gathered their toiletries and headed towards the bathroom for showers.  
  
They continued their friendly chatter as they laid out their supplies, but when John began to strip, Dave fell silent, glad they were the only  
  
two in the room. John kept on talking, but Dave couldn't tear his focus from the others ass. It was terrible, he knew, but whenever he and John chatted, they could only see each others front. Not to mention the muscle John had sprouted over the summer. Face flushing a little, Dave shed his clothes as well and quickly stepped into his stall before the water was even warm. A shiver rippled through his body, but it brought him back to earth long enough to get cleaned up. "Hey, Dave?"  
  
The blonde straightened, having spaced out during the last five minutes of their conversation. "Hmm?"  
  
There was a light giggle. "Do you shower with those shades on?"  
  
Dave scoffed, remembering the day he received them in the mail. John never did forget his birthday. "Do i shower with my shades on. Please."  
  
"Just checking."  
  
When finished they dried off, wrapping towels around their waists and padding bare foot back to their dorm. John made his bed with ghost busters sheets while Dave favored sweet bro and hella jeff. Both agreed that unpacking and further decorating could wait until morning, the two young adults were wiped, and John was asleep the moment his head hit the pillow. Dave had every intention to do the same, but something was nagging at him, and just when he caught himself watching his roomie sleep, his phone buzzed, bearing a message from his brother.  
  
timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG]  
  
TT: Hey little bro, how's the coast treating you?  
  
TT: You and your little friend settling in okay?  
  
TG: Yeah John's fine. Im fine.  
  
TG: Isnt it like two in the morning there?  
  
TT: Yeah, so?  
  
TG: Shouldnt you be sleeping?  
  
TT: Nah, I just got back from a gig.  
  
TT: Plus I wanted to check on my little bro. Whats your little buddy like in real life?  
  
TG: The same.  
  
TG: But hot.  
  
TG: REAL nice ass  
  
TG: I don't know how to handle it.  
  
TT: Would you tap it?  
  
TG: Admittedly yes.  
  
TT: Do you like him?  
  
TG: Of course I like him.  
  
TG: Damn.  
  
TG: We've only been pals for like ever.  
  
TT: Okay, how about love?  
  
TG: You think I'm crushing on Egbert?!  
  
TT: I think you want to touch that butt.  
  
TG: GOODNIGHT DIRK.  
  
turntechGodheat [TG] ceased pestering timaeusTestifide [TT]  
  
TT: Whatever, little man.  
  
turntechGodhead [TG] blocked timaeusTestifide [TT]  
  
That might have been a little harsh. Even so, Dave was done thinking about it. He was flat out exhausted. Taking off his shades, Dave dug around in his suitcase, pulling out a jar of peanut butter and a spork. He ate a spoonfull, chewing thoughfully before taking another, shooting his sleeping friend one last glance. He sighed, put away his snack and pulled his pillow over his head, trying to get some rest.  
                                                                                        ...

"Mmm... God, Dave..."  
  
The blonde smirked a little.  
  
"Dave..."  
  
The whimpering was driving him crazy. There was a stirring in Daves gut that made him want to devour john in one bite. The blonde felt almost drunk with lust, thoughts of heat and desire fogging up his brain and tensing every muscle in his body. With a steady hand he tenderly stroked John's jaw, gazing into those alluring blue eyes before pressing his mouth down against johns neck. The brunette shivered, tightly gripping Daves shoulders.  
  
John's skin tasted like salt, and his hands kept gripping tighter, his breath coming in short, shallow pants. "Relax," Dave murmured, rubbing his bare hips. His fingers lingered there, tracing little patterns on the heated flesh. "I've got you, just relax."  
  
"Will you take off your shades?" John asked. "For me? I want to see your eyes."   
  
Dave's heart skipped a beat. "M-my eyes?"  
  
A slow, seductive smile spread across John's face and suddenly, he was straddling Dave's hips, hands flat on his chest. "I want to see all of you."  
  
Before Dave could stop him, John was reaching for his shades. He kept his eyes closed as they were slid off his face, and john leaned down, gently kissing his lids. He shivered, reluctantly opening his eyes, bearing them to Johns curious gaze. Neither moved for a very long time. Dave squirmed uncomfortably. "John... Is something wrong?"  
  
"Your eyes," He gasped. "They're... They're red!"  
  
Alarmed, John scrambled away. Dave reached out to stop him, but when he tried to touch, John let out an ear piercing scream.  
  
Dave jolted awake.  
  
Groaning at the uncomfortable situation he had going on, Dave rubbed his eyes and rolled out of bed. Of all things to fear, he feared his own eyes, and of all dreams to have, he dreamed of that. Not only did the night leave him self concious and crabby, he was also stuck with a boner. Dave was stuck with a boner all because his best friend had tried to rise him in a peanut butter induced dream.  
  
"Fuck my life," He growled, but before he could worry about his volume waking John, he realaized the bed beside his own was empty and neat.  
  
Frowning, he aproached it, running his fingers along the sheets. They were cold. Wherever John was, he left a while ago.  
  
Knowing it had to have been more than an earling morning bathroom break, Dave pulled on some pants and an old Tee shirt, deciding to investigate. He had nothing better to do. As he wandered, he descovered that the building they lived in was full of seemingly useless rooms, especially on their floor. Some held an odd onject like a desk, or a coat rack, looking totally out of place and alone surrounded by empty space. There was only one room that made Dave pause. One room had music pouring through the open doorway.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Make fun of the rap and i will cry e-e i worked very hard on it.

Pianos never really registered as music in the Strider household. Dave took a few lessons in school, and Bro had bought him a keyboard, but they were more into sick beats and raps, not classical or Broadway or whatever else. But John played the Piano for real. Dave didn't know if he was skilled or not, but when the blonde approached the room and saw the person seated at the sleek, black instrument, he knew John was more than skilled.  
John was gifted. It took a lot to impress Dave, but he found himself speechless as he listened to the sweetest melody he had ever heard. It so was so sweet in fact it couldn't have been anything but a love song. Dave was unable to move or even blink until the piece was finished, and even then he was stunned. What finally broke the stillness was when his little friend caught him standing there.  
Immediately John pulled a face and started banging out some silly carnival style shit that made Dave think of creepy clowns on unicycles, his fingers prosperously losing tempo and hitting wrong keys. It was an admittedly clever distraction, but Dave didn't fall for it. "Play that other thing again," He said, entering the room.  
"What other thing?"  
"That thing you were just playing," He laughed, sitting next to his friend on the bench and glancing at the sheet music. It was hand written. "That love song, right there."  
"Oh this?" John asked, discreetly tucking full the pages underneath the blank ones. "Oh thats nothing, its not even finished."  
"Why don't you finish it, then?" It sounded pretty finished to Dave.  
"I-I can't finish it," The brunette protested. "Its um, not mine."  
"Then where'd you get it? Hand written?"  
John had no answer for that and Dave smiled, drawing his phone from his pocket, pulling up his MP3's, and playing a file labled "1, beats only." For a moment, they just sat there and listened to the instrumental, then John looked up. "Did you write this Dave?"  
He nodded in time with the music, a grin on his face as he casually began to rap along. He knew the lyrics by heart, and it was time for him to come in.  
Uh we're kickin it  
uh uh we're kickin it  
UP we be kicking it  
Steady piano waved together with his pre-recoreded beats and he playfully bumped John with his shoulder, feeling the music fill the room. He continued.  
Uptown slippin my shades on  
Parade's gone  
Night or in the morning  
uh  
I keep my shades on  
Chucks on my feet bro  
Flash step down the street yo  
Clowns all be honkin they be tryin to pass  
But they aint got a chance  
Cant match my Strider class.  
The instrumental looped back to the beginning and turning, he listened as the pianist continued to improvise. Before long John realized that Dave had stopped rapping and turned as well. Their eyes met and the blonde's heart skipped a beat. He wondered for a scary moment if John could see his eyes through his shades, but still felt compelled to reach out and touch. He found himself unable to resist. Slowly, he moved closer, but before he could close his eyes he had the breath knocked out of him by a bone crushing bear hug. "Dave that was so cool!" John gushed, shaking the rattled Strider, shattering his dreamy haze. "You're such a good rapper, that was so much fun!"  
Blinking a few times, Dave awkwardly patted the other on the back, weakly returning the obnoxiously friendly embrace.  
Laving Dave a little disoriented, John hopped up and wandered on out he door, chattering excitedly as Dave pocketed his phone, grabbed the sheet music and numbly followed. He had to admit he felt pretty dazed, and that wasn't something Striders were used to. Striders usually went around dazzling everyone in their paths. Maybe John just functioned on a different level than everyone else, like always. Dave didnt say a word as they walked, he could only think of that moment at the piano. It had felt like John could see straight past his shades, through his eyes, and into his soul. He shivered.


	4. Chapter 4

"You ready?"  
  
Once again, he looked up, seeing John holding a small hammer. He was instantly confused. "Sure man, sure," He said smoothly.  
It didn't take him long to realize John had been talking about finally unpacking and decorating the dorm. He peat boxed a little to pass the time as they worked, amused by the way john awkwardly danced, wiggling his skinny hips as he cleaned. Dave pulled out his phone when the brunette bent over, snapping a perfect picture of Johns ass bopping around. He smirked, pulling up pester chum and unblocking his brother.  
  
turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering timeausTestified [TT]  
  
TG: Hey bro check out the view from my dorm  
TG: tinyurl.com/bestviewever  
TT: Whoa ho ho, you weren't kidding, were you?  
TT: That's quite a booty there.  
TT: I'm almost jealous  
TG: Nice huh?  
TT: Most definatly.  
TT: Seems you've changed your tune from the other night though, whats going on?  
TG: I think you were right  
TT: I usually am.  
TT What are we talking about this time?  
TG: Egbert  
TG: I think I'm in love with him  
TT: What made you come to that conclusion?  
TG: ... I almost kissed him today  
TT: Almost?  
TG: Yeah he definatly wasnt feeling the same mojo i was in that moment  
TG: I was seeing magic fairy dust and shit but he was just derpin around like John you know?  
TT: Well maybe you should talk it out.  
TT: If the ditz can't take a hint then just give it to him straight.  
TG: You think he'll bite  
TT: It's worth a shot.  
TG: Maybe.  
TG: We'll see I guess.  
  
turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering timeausTestified [TT]  
  
Dave's attempts to give it a shot were almost comical in their failures. He had tried to flirt a little, it had flown right over John's head. He took the kid out to expensive restaurants, then came home in the friend zone. He even tried something less subtle and taped an obnoxiously mushy SB&HJ comic to his glasses one morning. John just laughed and the next day, Dave woke up to a bed full of scary puppets. He shrieked with fright as the little prankster howled with laughter, and admittedly, the sound softened his humiliation a little. "Alright, alright, you've had your fun," He said, shoving his shades over his eyes and kicking on of the creepy plushes aside. "Now clean these shit fuckers up, they're giving me the creeps."  
"But if I clean the dorm, that means you have to do the laundry!" John giggled. "Do you want a repeat of last time?"  
Usually, housewife duties were left to John and the manual labor went to Dave. The one time they had switched, both Dave's favorite red silk boxers and all of Johns socks and ended up a muted pink. Dave gave the pile of puppets on his bed a weary look, feeling his eye twitch just a little. No way he was touching those plush rumps. "I'll take my chances."  
Leaving John to handle the puppet buttock, Dave scooped up the laundry basket and started off towards the basement, where all the dorm residents did their washed their unmentionables. Honestly, if it had been anyone else, Dave would have refused to lift a finger until every plush was gone, and even then remain stubbornly useless for the remainder of the week, but it was John. Sweet, good humored, and obliviously cute John. He couldn't have gotten that angry with John, so he continued his decent towards the basement.  
There were plenty of washers, dryers, and an abundance of fun, generic brand soap, so when Dave arrived and there was no one else around, he got right to work. For the sake of idiots like him, there were instructions taped up on the wall explaining how to work the machines, but they said nothing about how to use that knowledge correctly. Shrugging, Dave took and armful of clothes, shoved them in a washer and dumped in a heaping scoop of detergent, watching with amusement as everything swirled and swished behind the glass.  
He stared, in a daze for a few solid seconds before he sighed, leaning impatiently against the wall. He didn't remember the cycle taking so long the last time, and absently wondered if he had fucked it up somehow. Exasperated, he hoisted himself up onto the wash, lying down across the row of machines, beat boxing out of boredom as they shook and hummed beneath him.  
Right when he was about to give in and just switch everything to the dryer as is, a pretty looking red headed girl strolled on in with her own basket, swaying rhythmically to his beats. "Sounds like you're having fun up there," She said smoothly. "But you know, there are better places to jam than a laundry room."  
"Clothes are taking forever," He said with a shrug. "Got bored."  
The second he turned his head her eyes twinkled with excitement, a look he got form girls all to often. He had considered her lazily, bangs flopping over his shades as he awaited a response. He could tell she was hooked. One glance and she was done. "Well if you're bored," She began, stepping forward. "I know a little place where you can put those beats to good use. Tonight, actually."  
Dave gave a small shrug. "I'll bite. What are we talking about, here?"  
"A party, obviously," She said, flipping her hair. She was clearly trying to sway him with her looks. "Everyone on campus is invited."  
"Sounds interesting," He yawned, swinging his legs off of the machine to stretch.  
She batted her eyes, getting closer. "A guy like you could liven it up pretty quick."  
Dave didn't move an inch.  
"I'm Marissa," She added, smiling. "And I won't take no for an answer."  
Just then the buzzer on Dave's machine sounded and he hopped down, switching everything to the dryer as he pondered the offer. She clearly wasn't going to stop flirting with him until he agreed, and he was stuck with her until the laundry was done, so he just gave in and told her he'd be there. She seemed nice enough though, so after gathering the clothes and dumping them back in the basket, he nodded in her direction, a glare flashing across his shades. "See you."  
Leaving her to swoon and melt, Dave made his way back u[stairs to his dorm, walking in to find John in bed with a juice box, hunched over his laptop. His headphones were in, his big front teeth were sticking out and his bright blue eyes were glued to the screen. Sirens and gun shots blared through his shitty ear buds. The dorm was spotless of course, and Dave could see a sandwich and a bottle of apple juice waiting for him on the counter.  
Grinning outright, Dave fetched the lunch and took a monstrous bite, washing it down with juice before lounging by John's side. He slung his arm around his roomies shoulders, making the kid jump. Laughing, he popped on of his ear buds out and flashed Dave a toothy smile. "Hope you sniffed that apple juice Dave."  
The blonde paused mid sip. "Why?"  
"Was it sealed?"  
"Umm... No?"  
"Then how do you know I didn't pee in it to fuck with you?"  
Dave stared at the half empty bottle, then at John, and the two of them just burst out laughing, leaning on each other for support as they fell into hysterics. "John you cum guzzling bastard," Dave groaned, pushing the juice away. "Don't you ever handle my meals again!"  
"Like you can cook!" John snorted. "Please, you'd be dead by dinner time!"  
"Ad that, my dear beaver is where you are wrong."  
"You can cook?"  
Dave scoffed. "Hell no. But we do have plans for dinner."  
His face brightened. "Cool, where are we going this time?"  
The blonde smirked. "I'm taking you, my friend, to your very first collage party."  
John nearly choked on his juice. "Um, what? Dave are you fucking crazy?"  
"Yeah, why?"  
"I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm a lanky, buck toothed dork. I'm not going to fit in with a bunch of cool kids at a party!"  
Dave pulled Johns face close to his, forcing the little nerd to eye level. "John, you're a stud," He insisted. "A total babe, and you're the funniest guy I know. It'll be fun, trust me! Its just a party, I promise."  
John was very hesitant. "Cross your heart?"  
"And hope to die."


	5. Chapter 5

 It only took a few beers to get Dave dancing on tables. He had plenty of rhythm and charm sober, but something in the alcohol made him let go of his calm, collected facade and just feel the music with his whole body.  
The bass was throbbing in his ears and he could practically feel the beat pulsing against his skin as he moved. The cheers and shrieks from the crowd kept him going, they begged for more after every single song. His breath was coming in pants and he had sweat rolling down the back of his neck, but he felt so alive. Hours of this past and Dave alternated between drinking, dancing, and working the crowd, feeding off of the attention he was getting from every guest there. Even John was having a good time, showing magic tricks to a large, drunk group of easily amused sorority girls. He had drank a sufficient amount but was more or less normal, if a little ballsy. “Everybody get closer, don’t be shy! It’s just a little light!” Out of nowhere he plucked a small, glowing red orb and began tossing it from hand to hand. People stared, entranced. “See? harmless! You can even hold it if you want, just don’t drop it, kay?”

A girl, Marisa, Dave was sure, eagerly stepped forward and held out both hands. John smiled, showed her the light then dropped it, but then, as if in a panic, he caught the orb an inch from the floor. “Shit, it went straight through your hands,” John huffed, giving her a playfully sour look. “You must be pretty drunk!”

People murmured excitedly, all trying to get a better look at the lights when suddenly John caught Daves eye and waved him over, presenting the blonde as his “Lovely assistant.” Now over the years, Dave had seen and learned most of John’s magic tricks, but John quickly realized that Dave was too drunk to pull anything off. So as Dave giggled and Waved, he was hauled off by his magical room mate, the two of them leaving the party together. “Hey now,” Dave slurred, leaning heavily on the other. “Where you takin’ me, beaver?”  
“Home, silly,” John laughed, lugging him up the stairs.

Still amused to have his room mate dragging him around the halls, he went limp, snickering like a five year old the whole way. “Hey,” He whispered after being dumped onto his bed. “Hey, John.”

“What?”

“John, John! Come here!”

Humoring him, John sat beside his friend. “Yeah, Dave?”

He pulled John close, flustered and blushing. “Hey,” He whispered. “John... I love you, John.”

The brunette rolled his eyes. “I love you too Dave, now let me up.”

“No, John,” Dave drawled, patting at the others face. “John you aren’t listening!”

He gave an exasperated sigh. “What, Dave?”

“Egbert, listen,” The blonde whispered, suddenly clinging to his hand. “Egbert, I really love you. I love you John, I really, really, love you.”

John recoiled, snatching his hand away, his face flushing scarlet. “Dave!” He yelped. “Dave that’s gay, I am not a homosexual!”

Dave felt his heart crumble and he crawled closer, putting his hand on the others leg. “But I love you,” He whined. “I... I really want to be with you.”

“Ew Dave, no you’re drunk, stop touching me!”

“Please John,” He begged, words beginning to slur. “Ish... Ish not just cause I’m drunk, please, I really... I really just wanna kiss you.”

John leaned back, looking both appalled, and a little conflicted.

“Just one kiss,” Dave pleaded.

“Only one?” He asked skeptically.

Dave nodded helplessly, shades nearly falling off his face. “Just one kiss,” He whispered, leaning in close and stroking John’s cheek, fingers getting lost in all that messy, dark hair. “Please.”

John didn’t push away and grudgingly, closed his eyes. “Just one.”

Eager, like his life depended on it, Dave pressed his lips to John’s. He was gentle, soft, and after an antagonizing moment of hesitation, John began to timidly kiss back, filling his heart with excitement and joy.

Forgetting of the conditions of the kiss, Dave pulled back for a breath and dove back in for more. John made a small sound of protest, trying to get away as he felt Dave’s teeth clink against his own. “D-Dave,” He gasped, a little afraid as the other’s movements became slightly aggressive. “Dave, Dave stop!”

Finally, with a cry of fear John’s hand cracked across Dave’s face, leaving an angry red mark and shocking Dave into complete stillness. “I need to get some rest,” He huffed, slowly and cautiously retreating to his own bed. “And so do you.”

Eyes stinging even more than the side of his face, Dave wriggled under his sheets and swallowed back tears, shoulders trembling as he tried to fight the onslaught of emotion brought on by such a fierce rejection.

Dave had never felt so broken.


	6. Chapter 6

Stirred by a sudden wave of nausea, Dave jolted upright in his bed and scrambled free of the covers, making it to the bathroom just in time to retch and gag, emptying the contents of his entire stomach into the toilet. He panted, heat spinning and eyes watering before he hurled again, choking, gasping and clutching at his aching middle.

He rested his cheek on the porcelain seat, sweating and grinding his teeth as his insides tried to turn themselves inside out. Stupid, he thought. Fucking stupid. More like pathetic. He was heartbroken, hung over, and almost positive was going to pull out a rape whistle the next time he got close. How could he have made such a complete fool of himself? The question tortured him for an hour before he got up, finally able to move without upchucking again.

He flushed and washed out his mouth, stumbling back into the dorm to fetch his shades. Never before had he been so thankful of them, he wore them constantly, so no one would suspect a thing. Even so, his head throbbed when the slightest sound was made. Clenching his jaw,he flopped into the computer chair, booting up the mac he and John shared. While it loaded, he glanced at his room mate, watching with a heavy heart as the brunette snored and mumbled in his sleep. Dave knew that he wouldn’t be able to face him, not after the stunt he pulled. Guilt tugged at him and despite how he scolded himself for being a spineless coward, Dave booked a one way flight from California, back to Texas. With tears in his eyes he changed, packed, allowed himself one last look at John, and left for the airport.

The flight was pure agony. His stomach hurt and his head ached, every hour that passed making him hate himself even more. Getting of the plane was shit, and finding a cab was hell, but the worst part of his whole journey was forcing himself to ring the doorbell of his Bro’s apartment, having lost his own key. It was around seven by the time he arrived, and Dirk answered the door in an undershirt and a pair of boxers. He nodded towards Dave. “Hey little man,” He mumbled, voice gravily from sleep. “What are you doing home?”

Dave just stood and trembled for a time, but then, he lost it, dropping his luggage and sinking to his knees, sobbing uncontrollably into his hands. The elder blonde was at his side in seconds, pushing the bags out of the way and scooping him up like he weighed nothing. He wasn’t surprised, he was too upset to be surprised. He just let his brother hold him while he cried until his throat was raw. At that point, he was set into his old bed, tucked in, and handed a tall glass of apple juice. Trying to cheer him up a little, Dirk warned him to sniff it first, but that only made him burst into tears all over again.

“Shit Dave, what’s the matter with you?” Dirk demanded, worry and alarm coloring his tone. “I’ve never seen you this damn upset, what the hell happened?”

“I fuckedthe hell up,” Dave choked, throwing his shades down in frustration. “I got smashed and made a total jackass out of myself! John probably never wants to see me again!”

Eventually, Dirk wrestled the details out of him. “Maybe you just pushed him a little too fast.”

“Bro, he clearly stated that he was not a homosexual. He said ew when i confessed to him. No change of pace could have changed that.”

“Wrong again, squirt,” Said Dirk, straddling a chair. “The egberts aren’t brought up the same way we Striders are. Maybe John’s afraid. What if his dad is religious and wouldn’t approve? He could quite possibly be all kinds of shit crazy confused right now, didn’t you think of that? Being gay, or even bi like you can be really hard for a guy like John to accept. Did you ever stop to realize that maybe you’re being a little unfair?”

Wiping his tears off with his sleeve, Dave looked up, red eyes all puffy from crying so much. He thought about the way it felt when John had started kissing him back. So shy and so scared, but like electricity on his tongue. He had just wanted to pull John closer.

Dirk put his hand on Dave’s shoulder. “Just give the kid some time, okay Bro?”

With a tip of his cap and a kiss on the head he dismissed himself, announcing that he was going back to sleep. Dave tried to do the same, but every time he closed his eyes he could almost feel John’s hand strike his cheek again. He could hear that frightened cry, the one he had completely ignored, insensitive to anyone’s needs but his own.

He felt like a total jerk.

Hiccuping pathetically, Dave rolled out of bed and slipped silently into his brother’s room,  seeing him laying face down and snoring into his pillows. Careful not to wake him, Dave kicked through the mob of smuppets, giving cal a curt nod before crawling up and onto the bed to snuggled into the warmth his brother seemed to radiate. The man stirred and Dave curled up like a rolly polly, feeling stupidly afraid. Slowly, Bro opened up his orange eyes, smiling softly at the sight of Dave before pulling him in, strong arms a protective harness curling around his waist. Just like when he was a child, he felt safe that way.

Soon, they were both sleeping, and when Dave woke, he was cold and alone. SHivering, he pulled the blankets up to his chin and squeezed his eyes shut, wanting to just disappear. Despite the thick cloud of despair that surrounded him, he knew that if he didn’t get up soon Dirk would come in and wake him with puppet ass. Wanting to avoid that at all costs, Dave grumbled under his breath and forced himself to sit up, equipt his shades and shuffle across the hall into his own bedroom to find some clothes that he may have left behind. Filling his drawers he found plenty, fresh, clean, and neatly folded He frowned, puzzled. Dave never folded his clothes.

Thoughtful, Dave showered, dressed in white jeans, red chucks, and his broken record tee, then made his way to the kitchen to see his Bro making a take out order. Some things never change. “Chinese good?” Bro mouthed, raising a brow above his anime shades. Dave nodded stoically and shuffled his way into the living room, wondering why he bothered with shoes.

“What time is it?” He mumbled, finally stirring when he was handed food.

“Eh, like a quarter till one,” Bro replied, shrugging as he slurped up rice noodles. “You slept for a good four hours.”

Dave fell silent as they ate, wondering what John could be doing by then. He pictured the Brunette watching one of his cheesy action flicks, studying like the nerd he was, or practicing some of his silly magic tricks in front of the bathroom mirror. His heart ached and he pushed his food away, standing up and heading towards the door. “I need some air,” He grunted, pulling his skateboard from the hall closet.

“I won’t be around when you get back,” Bro warned. “I’ve got a gig pretty soon, will you be alright by yourself for a while?”

Wordlessly, Dave fled the apartment.


	7. Chapter 7

Dave took out his frustrations on the pavement, speeding down the street as fast as his wheels would take him. Familiar Texas landmarks flew by at an alarming rate, which apparently, was much too fast because when he caught a flash of the last thing he expected to see, he lost control and skidded off his board, getting fresh dust all over his front.  
  
On a bench all alone, John sat with his face buried in his arms, a tourist map hanging out of his hand. A women Dave vaguely recognized stopped, worried about the sad looking stranger. They spoke briefly, and she pointed directly at Dave, nodding in his direction. John's head snapped upright, eyes searching frantically until finally landing on him. There were tear stains on the brunette's face.  
  
Ashamed, Dave turned away, but was shocked when he was suddenly smacked in the back of the head. "You asshole," John cried, more tears spilling down his cheeks. "You fucking asshole, I cannot believe you, you're so insensitive!"  
  
Dave's head throbbed and he whipped around, both embarrassed and hurt by the fact that John had hit him again. "I fucked up, okay?" He shouted, face flushing red. "I lost my fucking cool. You didn't have to follow me all the way here to hit me for it. Again."  
  
In almost no time at all John's anger melted away and he took a step closer, face full of guilt that didn't belong there. "You... You think I came here to hit you?"  
  
Dave looked down. "I lost my cool," He repeated lamely.  
  
"Cool, cool, cool. Dave, I don't care about cool, okay?" Stepping even closer, right into Dave's bubble, John slid the shades off of the cool kid's face, stashing them behind his back. Dave winced, squinting against the sudden attack of sunlight, afraid, but then John met his eyes, those blue orbs filled with nothing but affection. He offered a small smile. "I care about you Dave."  
  
Heart thumping, the blonde leaned in a little, hesitating as he looked at John without his shades, for the very first time. John took a deep breath, closed his eyes and puckered up like a fish. Dave chuckled, taking the other's face in his hand and stroking his lips with the pad of his thumb, waiting until the pucker relaxed. He hesitated again, but when he saw John fidget, lips parting in anticipation, he took the brunette by his waist and pulled him in for a long, tender kiss.  
  
Sweetness, warmth, shivering and electric passion, all things Dave thought he'd only experience in dreams. Before he even had a chance to take a breath, John was on his tiptoes, burying his fingers in messy blonde hair. Gasping in that last breath, Dave pulled back, head swimming. Everything was bright and colorful when he opened his eyes, the world un-muted by his shades. John's blue irises practically glowed, baiting a grin straight from Dave's heart. John smiled back, and their fingers intertwined. Laughing and giddy, Dave pulled John into a run, jumping on his skateboard. John followed behind, a little hesitant. Dave chuckled. "Its safe, just hold onto me. I won't let you fall, I promise."  
  
A cute pout appeared on the brunette's face and he quirked a brow. "Cross your heart?"  
  
Dave traced an 'X' on his chest. "And hope to die."  
  
"Stick a needle in your eye?"  
  
"John, oh my god," Dave groaned, playfully snatching his shades and shoving them back in place. "You are such a dork."  
  
With that he took off, grinning as a pair of arms wrapped snugly around his waist. He felt alive and free, even in such a tight embrace. And though his day up to that point had been nothing short of hell, he had never been happier a moment in his life. This joy had him skating faster, pulse pumping with excitement as they hopped off the board and ran up all the stairs to Dirk's apartment, laughing and teasing the whole way up.  
  
Inside their kiss continued, sloppy, inexperienced, but disarmingly sweet. Admittedly, Dave was holding back. He didn't want to scare John again, but every time he felt those long pianist fingers tugging at his hair, he felt a stirring in his loins. He had to catch his breath, but whenever he would try to break the kiss, John would tug him back in, hungry for more. He may have mumbled something along the lines of "My room," and "Now," Because soon enough they were stumbling awkwardly backwards, trying to keep their mouths together. Finally Dave just scooped John into his arms, carrying the brunette the rest of the way.  
  
Somewhere in the back of his mind Dave wanted to really talk to John, have a majorly sappy and emotional heart to heart, but when he tumbled backwards onto his bed and John landed on top. a shiver rippled through his body and he flipped things at once. Talking could come later.  
  
Instead of making words, Daves mouth latched onto John's neck, sucking lightly at the skin there. A small gasp made him hesitate, grasping the brunette's hand and pressing it to his hip. "If i do anything that crosses a line, or if you just want to stop," He murmured, patting the other's hand. "Tap out."  
  
"Okay," John whispered. "I trust you."  
  
Reassured, neither of them flinched or tried to hide when close began to fall. John even laughed at the muted pink silk of Dave's ruined boxers. To shut him up, the blonde trailed kisses down the uncovered planes of John's chest, teasing the taut muscles of his abdomen before retreating all the way back up, unable to resist the taste of his mouth. John felt comforted, even as Dave's hands slipped below his waist band because he kept a solid grip on the blondes hip, knowing he could call it quits whenever he wanted too.  
  
His fingers tightened a little when Dave took of his ghost busters boxers, bearing him completely, and he grew a little unsettled when he saw Dave produce a small bottle from his nightstand. Having removed his glasses when Dave had lost the shades, he couldn't read the label. Dave saw the look on his face and gave him a soft kiss, at the same time generously coating his fingers in the slick, colorless fluid. "It'll help this go a little smoother," He explained.  
  
John nodded, keeping his hand on Dave as he felt a single finger slip past his defenses. He inhaled sharply as it moved, spreading moisture around and curling against the sensitive nerves. The sensation was strange at first, but he tried to relax, letting it happen as Dave carefully measured his reactions, making a chivalrous effort to keep his lover comfortable. Soon a second finger was added, and that hurt a little, especially when Dave started making a scissoring motion, straining against the tight muscle. He's stretching me, John realized, his breath coming in slow, shallow pants especially when the third finger pushed inside. He squeezed Dave tightly, blunt nails digging into freckled skin as he was prepped, determined to endure it.  
  
Being so focused on getting used to them, when the digits were removed he gave a slight whimper, mumbling a soft "Why?" He opened his eyes, squinting at the blurry sight of Dave, then blushed. He felt a little flustered by what he saw, even if he hadn't seen it properly. He was almost embarrassed. Dave looked hungry, red eyes swimming with desire and skin flushed pink. He was aching, rock hard from just watching John's face and listening to his changes in breathing.  
  
"We don't have to do this," Dave reminded him.  
  
"I want to," John insisted, voice hushed. "I... I want you, Dave."  
  
The blonde nodded sharply, lightly touching the hand that was still holding onto his hip. "If it hurts too bad, tell me, and I'll stop. Okay?"  
  
John nodded, and Dave raised a brow. "Do you promise you'll tell me?"  
  
"Cross my heart." Big blue eyes trained on Dave, John took his free hand and traced an 'X' over his chest. Smiling, Dave lifted his hand and kissed it, knowing that John truely was strong enough, and ready to do it. He pulled away from just a moment, only long enough to take of his boxers before smoothering the brunette in kisses, whispering breathless "I love you's" before positioning himself at his entrence. Able to feel him, John gasped, but he didnt panic. He knew what was coming and he didnt want to back down. He wanted so badly to try. Finally, after one last moment of hesitation, Dave pushed himself inside, grunting at the impossible tightness and heat that was practically sucking him in. A short rush of pleasure tingled through his stomach, but he held still, breathing hard as he let John adjust.  
  
There was pain shooting up his tail bone, but he made himself relax, knowing that it would pass. "G-go ahead," He managed. "I'm alright."  
  
Dave was a little unsure, but John insisted that he was fine, even threatening to turn things around if Dave didn't get a move on. Chuckling a bit, he pulled about halfway out, sliding smoothly back in. He bit back a moan and worked up a slow, gentle pace, leaning down to kiss John as he did, feeling almost dizzy. Nothing he could do with his hands would ever compare to that.  
  
Before he knew it, John was pushing up against him, kissing back with all his might and letting his fingers lace through Dave's, giving them a tiny squeeze. Dave squeezed back, quickening his thrusts until John couldn't take it. "Ahh-hh..." The brunette huffed, leaning his head back. He was having trouble catching his breath, and even Dave found himself groaning a little, heat pulsing around him compelling him to move faster. John tightened his grip on his hand, and he shivered. "Dave," John was moaning. He could feel pressure building in his abdomen, like he was getting ready to explode. Every thrust felt better, all traces of pain long gone as John arched and trembled, wanting nothing but more. He suddenly gasped, his whole body jerking as he clutched at Dave's hand. "Oh, oh god... Ah, a-ahh!"  
  
"F-fuck," Dave panted, feeling John;s muscles tighten, clamping down on his member and pushing him over the edge. They tumbled off together, fingers intertwined as they shared a heated climax. Their release left a bit of a mess, and as if joking, John tapped lightly on Dave's ass, a breathless giggle bubbling from his throat. Rolling his eyes, Dave pulled out before relaxing on his side, blinking slowly and smiling as he gazed at his lover.  
  
John gave a tiny wave. "Hi."  
  
"Hey," Dave laughed, brushing the brunette's damp bangs out of his face. "How do you feel?"  
  
"I feel amazing," He answered honestly. He was a little sore, almost positive he had a big, obvious hicky, but he'd never felt more content. "More than amazing."  
  
Dave looked into those glowing blue irises, seeing nothing but affection and warmth. "I love your eyes," He murmured.  
  
"I love you," John replied.  
  
Dave blushed, but leaned in for a kiss, tasting that sweetness again. "I love you, too."  
  
"I love your eyes too," John added, smiling wider. "I remember when I first saw them, we were skyping from school, remember that? I was in the library and you were outside for gym. You were looking up at the sky while you waited for me to pick up and..." He shrugged. "I caught a glance. They're the coolest things I've ever seen."  
  
That had been in middle school. "Wait, you've seen them before today?"  
  
"Sure," He said. "Not too many times, you'd always put your shades on before I could get a good look. I never mentioned it though because I know you would have just been that much more careful. I like being able to just look at them like this."  
  
A light blush colored Dave's cheeks and he pulled John close, feeling relief wash over him. John accepted him, all of him, just the way he was. "You're a fucking miracle, you know that? A geeky ass miracle."  
  
John laughed and rolled his eyes, lightly punching him on the arm. "Never leave me again," The brunette murmured, leaning into kiss him. "Ever."  
  
And Dave never did.  
  
((The End.))


End file.
